Building a strong relationship with your child is essential for their development and well-being. Here are some tips for improving your relationship with your child:
Be present and attentive. Make sure to spend quality time with your child on a regular basis. Put away your phone and other distractions and focus on your child during this time.
Show interest in your child’s life. Ask them about their day, their interests, and their thoughts. Listen actively and try to understand their perspective.
Show affection and give praise. Let your child know that you love and appreciate them. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in building a strong relationship.
Set clear boundaries and consequences. Children need structure and discipline to feel secure. Make sure your child knows what is expected of them and what the consequences will be for not following rules.
Communicate openly and honestly. Be honest with your child about your feelings and thoughts. Encourage them to do the same. This will help your child to feel comfortable talking to you about difficult topics.
Be a good role model. Children learn by example, so be sure to model the behavior you want to see in your child. If you want your child to be kind and compassionate, be kind and compassionate yourself.
Show interest in your child’s activities and hobbies. Encourage their passions and talents, and attend their games or recitals.
Apologize when you make mistakes. Children need to learn that it’s okay to make mistakes and that it’s important to apologize and make amends.
Show empathy and understanding. Try to see things from your child’s perspective and understand their feelings. This will help your child feel heard and understood.
Have fun together. Laugh and play with your child. This will help create positive memories and strengthen your bond.
In summary, building a strong relationship with your child takes time and effort. It’s important to be present and attentive, show interest in your child’s life, set clear boundaries and consequences, communicate openly and honestly, be a good role model, show interest in your child’s activities and hobbies, apologize when you make mistakes, show empathy and understanding, and have fun together. By trying some of these tips, you should see improvements in your relationship with your child and create a stronger bond that will last a lifetime.
https://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/robert-thiemann-V7RaWYizqOQ-unsplash-scaled.jpg17072560Jamal Ahmelichhttps://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/01_p-1-300x97.pngJamal Ahmelich2023-01-16 00:54:202023-01-16 01:06:34How can I Improve my Relationship with my Child?
Love them or hate them, mornings happen. For those of us who are not morning people, here is a list of some common morning rituals that successful people utilize to supercharge their day:
Wake up at the same time every day: Establishing a consistent wake-up time can help regulate your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle and improve your overall sleep quality.
Exercise: Many successful people start their day with some form of physical activity, whether it’s a morning run, a yoga session, or a quick workout at home. Exercise can help boost your energy and productivity for the rest of the day.
Meditate or practice mindfulness: Taking a few minutes to focus on your breath and clear your mind can help you start your day with a sense of calm and clarity.
Eat a healthy breakfast: Skipping breakfast can lead to low energy and poor concentration later in the day. Instead, try to start your day with a nourishing breakfast that includes protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates.
Plan your day: Many successful people take a few minutes in the morning to review their schedule and prioritize their tasks for the day. This can help you stay focused and on track throughout the day.
Remember, the most important thing is to find a morning routine that works for you and helps you feel energized, focused, and ready to face the day ahead.
When one faces conflict with others in their life, it’s often a heavy feeling that accompanies it and is seen as a negative. Yet, conflict is part of life and can even be helpful to making progress with relationships. If we have relationships, we will have conflicts. They are simply about differences that individuals have within the context of those relationships. When you resolve a conflict through compromise and collaboration, you can achieve a win-win solution to your dispute and in turn, your relationship with that other person can become stronger. Here is a breakdown of a framework to work through a conflict.
State the problem. Using “I” statements to explain how you see the problem and allowing the other person to do the same. This is the time to clearly define the conflict. It’s hard to fix something before both of you agree on what’s broken.
Understand all points of view. To defuse tension and defensiveness, set aside your opinions for a moment. Take the time to understand the other person’s point of view. Sum up their perspective in words the other person can accept. When people feel they have been heard, they are often more willing to listen. Then share your perspective.
Brainstorming solutions. Dream up as many options as you can. Be creative and think outside the box.
Evaluate the solutions. Get rid of the ideas that won’t work for either party. Talk about which solutions will work and how difficult each will be to implement.
Choose the solution. Choose the one that works best for both of you. Be honest.
Implement the solution. Decide who is going to do what by when. Try to stick to your commitment and what is agreed upon.
Reevaluate and review how well the solution is working and whether it needs changes.
Some Strategies to Resolve Conflicts
Step back from the conflict
Instead of trading personal attacks, step back and approach the conflict in a neutral way. Reframe the conflict as a problem to be solved, not a contest to be won. You could say, “We have a situation that isn’t working well. Please tell me what you think the problem is and how to solve it. Then I’ll share my point of view. Let’s talk until we find a solution that works for us both.”
Commit to the relationship
Our most difficult conflicts are often with people we care about most. Begin by reminding the other person: “I care about you, and I want this relationship to last. So, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to resolve this problem.” Ask the other person for a commitment.
Lay your cards on the table
Say what you observe, think, feel, and intend to do. It’s tempting to hold back, but this is one way of keeping the conflict alive. Use “I” statements (I feel _____ when ________) and don’t worry about saying things perfectly.
Back up to common ground
Conflict heightens the differences between people. Sometimes, it’s helpful to back up and list the points on which you agree. “Ok, I know we have difference ideas on how much to spend on a new car but we do agree the old one needs to be replaced and it needs to be automatic.”
Slow down the communication
During conflict, the discussion can get heated. People get fired up and talk quickly. Nobody is really listening. When this happens, choose to either listen or talk – not at the same time. Usually this slows the pace and allows people to become calmer.
Be a complete listener
Before responding to what the other person says, check to see if you have received their message correctly. “I heard you say _______. Is that right? Is there anything else you want to say about that?” Replace judgement with curiosity.
Get to the point
Sometimes people in conflict build up to their main points cautiously. Get to your point right away, rather than having the other person getting worried and getting lost in the details.
Ask for forgiveness
Sometimes conflict arises because of our errors, not because of something we have done intentionally. When we own our mistakes and admit we are not perfect, others may move quickly.
Allow the emotion
Conflict is messy. It’s ok to cry, to be upset, to feel angry. Allowing other people to see the strength of your feelings can help to clear up the conflict.
Agree to disagree
Sometimes you get all points of view out there and work hard on problem solving but still the conflict remains. You can still coexist peacefully with the other person and respect them even thought you don’t agree on issues. Conflict can be accepted even when it’s not resolved.
See the conflict within you
When you are angry or upset, take a minute to look inside. Maybe you are over-reacting. Maybe unintentionally you did something to create the conflict. Or maybe the other person is simply saying something you know is true and don’t want to admit it.
Get help from a counsellor
If you find that you are often in conflict with others, sometimes it can be beneficial to discuss this with a counsellor or psychologist. It may help you to clarify the issues involved, gain some understanding of your emotions, and develop skills and confidence in handling conflicts.
Humans’ disconnection from nature seems to be an ever increasing global challenge as our world becomes more technologically advanced and urbanized. Theories from evolutionary psychology, such as the Biophilia Hypothesis, argue that early humans were immersed in the natural world for millions of years and that a detachment from nature seen in modern humans is a source of psychological distress. The therapeutic properties of time spent in natural environments are becoming more well known and in response, mental health therapists have begun to harness nature’s restorative capacity by challenging convention and offering therapy outdoors.
What is EcoTherapy?
Ecotherapy is the name given to a form of experiential therapy that incorporates counselling interventions in the natural world to improve the client’s growth and development. There are wide ranges of treatment programs, which aim to improve mental and physical well-being through doing outdoor activities in nature. Examples include nature-based meditations, physical exercise in natural settings, horticultural therapy, adventure therapy, conservation activities and nature-based therapy.
What does Nature-Based Therapy look like?
The concept of Nature-Based Therapy combines the inherent benefits of being in nature with a benefits of a therapy session with a trained counsellor. Nature is viewed as a healing partner in the counselling process. The outdoor environment has the ability to encourage different affects in relation to internal worlds. For example, a wooded forest can feel comforting to some while to others this might symbolize a fear they are challenged with. While different therapists will conduct a Nature-Based sessions differently, the concept is similar. This could look like a walk and talk session in a natural setting to applying metaphors from the natural environment to their current life situation.
Benefits
Nature-Based Therapy is an effective means to boost mental wellness and has many psychological, physiological, and social benefits. The psychological effects of therapy in nature include lower blood pressure and research shows that exposure to nature will have profound impact in the decreasing of cortisol levels which can lower stress levels. As well, research also points to increased resilience, improved self-esteem and increased capacity to engage socially with other members of their community and society at large. Natural light, fresh air, exposure to trees and plants seem to improve many people’s outlook on life in a positive manner. One positive aspect of a Nature-Based approach for when an individual is depressed involves how people often retreat into indoor spaces, isolating themselves from the world around them. Using nature based therapy can help people to receive the benefits of being outdoors while still engaging in therapy in a less intimidating environment than a traditional office setting. The calming effect of nature makes it the perfect backdrop for a counselling session.
https://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/road-1072823_640.jpg373640Jamal Ahmelichhttps://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/01_p-1-300x97.pngJamal Ahmelich2021-02-02 08:51:372020-12-19 23:53:22What is Nature Based Therapy?
Imagine being outside with a blue sunny, sky while you feel the soft snow beneath your skis and you feel the wind on your face. Any one that downhill or cross country skis will tell you that skiing makes you feel healthy and happy. But while the physical benefits of being outside in nature and skiing are obvious, it has only been in recent studies that science have proved that the mental benefits of snow sports are just as valuable. A study led by Stanford University found that city dwellers have a 20% higher risk of depression than rural residents and a 40% increased risk of mood disorders.
No stranger to finding creative ways to connect people to nature, Heather Hendrie is a Squamish based clinician who offers Ski Therapy in addition to her regular clinical practice. As an avid skier, former ski instructor and outdoor guide, Heather hopes to add ski therapy sessions to her suite of offerings this winter. Heather became interested in the healing power of nature through her healing journey, where nature provided great relief and a sense of perspective leading her to pursue a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counselling, specializing in Wilderness Therapy. Ski therapy seems a good fit for Hendrie, who made headlines when she created the “Lifts of Love” event in Banff. An annual singles speed dating event held at Mount Norquay. It follows naturally that she’d take her therapeutic work to the chairlifts and groomed trails. I caught up with Heather to discuss this interesting form of therapy.
What is Ski Therapy?
Heather describes Ski Therapy as a playful, Nature Based way to connect with a therapist while moving one’s body. The therapeutic process is at work while breathing fresh air, taking in the surrounding scene and engaging in bi lateral movement that is proving to support significant reductions in the levels of both bodily distress and emotional stress. These combined emotional physical and physiological benefits could make ski therapy a real 2 for 1 type practice, and ideal for people who’d like to try a novel approach in therapy.
Where do you offer Ski Therapy?
Heather hopes to offer sessions through maintained cross country skiing trails at the Whistler Olympic Park in the Callaghan Valley. Making this therapeutic modality accessible to more people is currently a passion of Heather’s, as skiing has historically been such an exclusive pursuit.
Do you need to know how to ski?
While Heather’s background is as a guide and instructor, the focus of ski therapy is healing and relief from symptoms, rather than the technical aspects of the sport.
What theoretical approaches do you use?
Heather applies a Transpersonal, humanistic, mindfulness-based, experiential approach to her work, inspired by such leaders as Rogers, Maslow, Van Der Kolk and Peter Levine.
How do you manage confidentiality with others around?
Confidentiality looks different outdoors than when sessions are conducted within the confines of an office, but fortunately, the field of therapy is increasingly being de-stigmatized. That said, Heather mitigates any concern in this area by always addressing consent and confidentiality with a client before beginning work together.
https://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/patrick-hendry-lCJDpsY2CJo-unsplash-scaled.jpg17072560Jamal Ahmelichhttps://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/01_p-1-300x97.pngJamal Ahmelich2021-01-11 20:27:322021-01-11 20:27:32Ski therapy? An Outdoor Twist on Traditional Therapy
The term “mindfulness” was defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn as “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally. This free challenge is for anyone who’s looking to add a little more calm into their daily life. Mindfulness can help you to help you break down old thought patterns, tap into the present moment, and find your inner calm. It’s all about getting down to the basics of mindfulness in a fun and practical way. Think of it as a self-development tool that helps you deal with things more mindfully on a daily basis. If you are new to mindfulness, this is a great way to see what it’s about.
How to get started?
Simple! Just read each day’s challenge activity and spend the 5-10 mins needed to complete the challenge. Each day, try to do the next item listed. It’s that easy.
Day 1 Gratitude Challenge
Welcome to day 1! To start out the mindfulness challenge, we are going to simply try to focus our attention on things that you are thankful for in your life. Research has linked gratitude with a wide range of benefits, including improving sleep patterns, feeling more optimistic, strengthening your immune system and feeling less lonely and isolated.
To start, find a comfortable place to sit and take 10 big deep breaths. Your task today is to simple close your eyes and think of 5 things that you are thankful for. Think about people in your life, experiences you’ve had, good fortune that’s come your way, etc. Or it could be as simple as a new shirt you bought. Just think to yourself “I’m grateful for….” and come up with 5 items. An alternative is that you can write your 5 things down in a journal. Finish off this challenge with 10 deep breaths.
Day 2 Eating Mindfully Challenge
Today you are going to take some time to mindfully eat a single item of food. Find a small food such as a grape, peanut, raisin, etc. The objective of today is to spend the next few minutes paying attention to everything about that small bit of food. Notice the texture. What does it feel like? Hold the item under your nose, and inhale naturally. With each in-breath, notice any aroma or smell that arises. Bring awareness also to any effect in your mouth or stomach. Now bring the slowly up to your mouth, noticing how your hand and arm know exactly how and where to position it. Place the item gently into your mouth, without yet chewing. Hold the item in your mouth for at a few seconds, exploring it with your tongue, feeling the sensations of having it there. Notice this pause and how it feels to take some time before eating the raisin. Next and with each small bite, feel your teeth going into the food and slowly chewing each bit of the food. This exercise should take you 5 to 10 minutes to get through that small piece of food.
Day 3 The 54321 Grounding Challenge
Today’s mindfulness challenge involves using your senses to ground yourself. Find a comfortable place to position yourself then go through each number and calmly identify each of the items listed.
Take a deep breath to begin.
5 – See: Where ever you happen to be, look around for 5 things that you can see, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I see the computer, I see the cup, I see the picture frame.
4 – Touch: Pay attention to your body and think of 4 things that you can feel, and say them out loud. For example, you could say, I feel my feet warm in my socks, I feel the hair on the back of my neck, or I feel the shirt against my shoulders.
3 – Hear: Listen for 3 sounds. It could be the sound of traffic outside, the sound of typing or the sound of your tummy rumbling. Say the three things out loud.
2 – Smell: Say two things you can smell. If you’re allowed to, it’s okay to move to another spot and sniff something. If you can’t smell anything at the moment or you can’t move, then name your 2 favorite smells.
1 – Taste: Say one thing you can taste. It may be the toothpaste from brushing your teeth, or a mint from after lunch. If you can’t taste anything, then say your favorite thing to taste.
Take another deep breath to end.
Day 4 Mindful Seeing Challenge
This simple exercise requires a window with some kind of view to the outside world and a couple minutes to complete. Your task is simply to comfortably position yourself looking out that window and observing and noticing everything that you see. Paying attention to any trees or leaves that are moving. Notice the colours of the stop sign or street lights. Items moving in the wind. What shapes and patterns can you see in your view? Try to see the world outside the window from the perspective of someone unfamiliar with these sights. The intention is to be aware and observant on the world around you.
Day 5 Box Breathing Challenge
How much attention do you bring to your breathing? Practicing mindful, focused breathing, even for a few minutes a day reduces stress and promotes relaxation. Slow, deep, rhythmic breathing causes a reflex stimulation of the parasympathetic nervous system, which results in a reduction in the heart rate and relaxation of the muscles.
Today’s mindfulness challenge is a simple 4 count hold breathing challenge. You begin by expelling all the air from your chest and then keep empty for a four count hold. Then, perform your inhalation through the nose for four counts. Hold the air in your lungs for a four-count hold. Maintain an expansive, open feeling even though you are not inhaling. When ready, release the hold and exhale smoothly through your nose for four counts. This is one circuit of the box-breathing practice. Try to continue this breathing for 5 minutes.
Interested in going more in depth into mindfulness? Learn more:
You must teach your brain to seek out the good things in life. Research shows merely listing three things you are thankful for each day can make a big difference. This technique has been proven again and again and again. One of the reasons old people are happier is because they remember the good and forget the bad. Gratitude is a powerful force for training your brain.
When your vision of your life story is inadequate, depression can result. Psychotherapists actually help “rewrite” that story and this process is as, if not more, effective than medication.“Retrospective judgment” means reevaluating events and putting a positive spin on them. Naturally happy people do it automatically, but it’s something you can teach yourself. And when it comes to the future, be optimistic. Optimism can make you happier.
https://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/austin-schmid-hRdVSYpffas-unsplash.jpg18003200Jamal Ahmelichhttps://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/01_p-1-300x97.pngJamal Ahmelich2015-10-17 19:47:332020-01-14 23:54:083 Ways to Train your Brain to be Happy
There’s emerging evidence of skeletal and muscle problems in the neck, thumbs, and backs of heavy texters, gamers and computer users. All that sedentary time spent in front of screens is producing a less fit generation. Experts say regular exercise to improve cardiovascular health and increase strength can counteract some of those screen time effects. And many studies have documented the effectiveness of exercise in reducing depression and anxiety.
2) Get some face to face time
Some adults complain young people have lost social skills as a result of immersing themselves in technology, and due to their preference for texting over talking. Practice eye contact and conversation skills by making time for in-person socializing, which studies show also creates a stronger sense of connectedness … the human kind!
3) Get Balanced
Like a healthy, balanced diet, a healthy screen life means moderation. Dr. Michael Rich is professor of pediatrics at Harvard University and head of the Center on Media and Child Heath at Boston’s Children Hospital. He says media technologies aren’t going away, but they need to be seen as just one part of a child’s day, along with many other activities, such as recreation, school and homework, and time with friends and family. He says parents shouldn’t just limit time with technology; they should encourage kids to make conscious choices about filling their days with a variety of activities.
4) Get picky
Many of us have embraced technology blindly, succumbing to the seduction of constant distraction and the endless novelty of cute cat videos. Experts say a healthy approach to technology means using it for what it does well, and learning to filter out the “noise.”
Stanford University professor emeritus Don Roberts has extensively studied the effects of media on young people. He says parents can help kids become smarter consumers of technology and critical thinkers by talking to them about the content they view and listen to on-line.
5) Get Natural
Researchers say spending time in nature is an antidote to the physical, mental, and emotional stress technology use puts on our bodies and brains. It increases Vitamin D stores depleted by too much time indoors in front of screens and improves distance vision.
It’s been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and attention deficit disorders. Schools that include time outdoors have higher standardized test scores in math, reading and writing.
6) Get a good book
Various studies show reading engages parts of the brain that involve imagination, creativity and the senses. Regular readers have better verbal and critical thinking skills, and a lower risk of developing dementia. That’s in contrast to electronic media consumption, which is usually a cognitively passive activity.
https://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/DSC02591.jpg23043072Jamal Ahmelichhttps://tenacitycounselling.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/01_p-1-300x97.pngJamal Ahmelich2014-02-25 14:58:332020-01-10 04:59:476 ways to have a healthy online life
